Donuts. Cookies, Pastries. Chocolate. Kit Kat. Caramello. Whatchamacallit. Peanut butter and jelly. Holy Moses! I almost did not survive yesterday. On a scale of 1 to 10 for withdrawal symptoms, it was a 12. It’s the first real issue I’ve had with withdrawal cravings since we started GAPS.
I CONQUERED THE DAY!
NO donuts. NO cookies. No pastries. NO chocolate. Hardest thing EVER. Nobody but an addict can truly understand how difficult it is to abstain. Alcohol, drugs, sugar, it’s all the same. It causes the same painful withdrawal symptoms and overwhelming need, mental, physiological, and physical. Starlene’s recent post kept playing in my head and thinking of all the wonderful GAPS ladies doing intro were really instrumental in keeping me on track. I had no intention of sticking to my guns at least a dozen times throughout the day, and tv last night almost killed me. I did find that most of the foods I was seeing made me think how awful they taste. I’d be happy to have a gourmet version, but the cheap commercial version we’re used to just wouldn’t do. Example? An ice cream drumstick. I’d rather have frozen custard. A cookie? The Chips Ahoy version now tastes metallic and tasteless. It’s not worth the aggravation. These are very new developments. I think the thing that ultimately kept me away from indulging is how much worse I’d feel day after day if I did. I have a family who is counting on me to be around, happy, and instrumental in taking care of them. I just don’t have the option of checking out. I was wrung out from being sick, die off (took a lot of detox foods yesterday to help hurry the die off of candida albicans and other unidentified sugar eaters to get rid of the cravings faster), and had to camp out on the sofa for most of yesterday. I was angry at the world and ready to snap at anyone who looked at me. I almost chewed off my lips a few times to keep my mouth shut. 🙂 Katie wasn’t happy about the mostly non-play day, but I knew I needed to take care of myself so i can take care of her. I started the day with a clove of garlic diced into my eggs and it caused some serious amounts of mucous to erupt. I made some homemade cough syrup once my throat starting filling up and the coughing began and all was well again. Another detox concoction. Then I upped my dose by another half on my probiotic. Die bugs die! I took it easy after that. The serious cravings started later. GAPS has allowed me to realize cravings escalate as starvation of the candida – and whatever else – escalates, and I will feel much better the next day if I hold off.
I’m pretty sure it was bit of cheating over the extended Easter weekend and no nourishing broth thart was the cause. I think the broth and nourishing soups was the key. I’ve been avoiding broth for the last few days from an aversion to it, but I’m craving that now too! I just have to figure out how to keep it in my diet without burning out. I got my first order of marrow bones and oxtails from US Wellness Meats and am keen to make some beef broth. Until today, I was rather disgusted at the thought of anything but chicken broth. Not sure why. It may have been the lamb broth I tried to make. Blech. I am feeling better (thank you, thank you, thank you to every deity by whatever name they go by) and am really looking forward to getting some bones on to bubble. Today, the beef bones go into the crockpot and a chicken will go in the stockpot. I just bought Celtic sea salt and we love it. I can’t wait to try it in the broth.
Cheats I allowed yesterday: 2 T almond butter with cinnamon and frozen blueberries, apple (yuck), and a small glass of milk. Not too shabby.