GAPS day 29, The Renaming of Sugar, Conquering the Cravings, and Katie Tries Garlic
Thanks to Rufus’ recent post, I’m now calling my intolerant foods poison. Especially sugar. Every sugar-laden confection I pass while out will be labeled as such to hopefully trigger the negative associations I’ve spent years creating. I don’t have a Carl Smithers in my life (confused? read Rufus’ linked post!) to mimic the association, but poison is the first repugnant word that came to mind. Right now, everything that my body does not respond well to and makes me sick is poison. Let’s see how the word associations helps. Great. Now I’ve written the word poison enough times that I can’t tell if it’s spelled right.
Katie’s first attempt with garlic was today. I added a teeny bit to her broth and let it steep, so she’d only get a bit of garlic oil to start. Seems to have gone ok but I’ll go very slow and, as most of you know, it will take a few days until I really know. She has many patches of spots all over, so I don’t know if it’s a detox reaction from the sauerkraut (my detox reactions are a lot more pronounced also now that my body can get rid of things faster), her synthetic tutu (she normally only wears 100% cotton with no flame retardants or spf built in) or maybe the garlic…and, if it’s the garlic, is it detox? Die off? Intolerance? Sulpher sensitivity? I’m going to keep it in for now and move like a snail with increased doses. She was happy today, so I feel comfortable trying again in a couple of days.
I had a serious backlash of cravings and psychological symptoms with food today. I got hungry and couldn’t stomach anything in the house. I worked through it really well by using the poison reference, imagery and taste memories to remind me the things I wanted weren’t that good and weren’t worth the damage I’d do to my body and the crankiness that my family has to deal with, and checked my blood glucose to make sure it wasn’t too low so I could wait out the cravings. After making a cucumber to share that Katie ate by herself, I didn’t have the energy or mental fortitude to make more food that I didn’t really want to eat (and I didn’t want to waste one of Katie’s favorite snacks on myself–gotta stop thinking that Katie deserves all the food. We have enough for all of us and only need to shop to get more.) I got dizzy so caved and had a spoonful of almond butter and a glass of milk really quickly. Being able to take care of Katie was more important than skipping the food. The funny thing? These are healthy, GAPS legal foods that I am piling on the guilt about. Yes, my body’s not responding well to them right now, but I didn’t go out and eat a box of cookies or binge on a box of chocolates. It’s funny the way our mind can change gears so quickly. I also had the sour cream and blueberry concoction that I mention below in our food for the day. No words to describe the yummiliciousness of that. It made me want to curl up like a contented cat and purr. That beat a Starbucks muffin hands down and I’m stunned. I love that GAPS is doing that for me. It also revved up my moping appetite, so I could eat some eggs. Today, dinner at 10 pm was better late than never, since it wasn’t the pizza I was on the verge of ordering. Emotional eating – 0, me – 2!
I’m probably missing a bunch of things, but I already rattled on quite a bit and I’m tired.
first meal: frozen blueberries with snow for Katie
snack?: beef bone broth for both of us – sea salt, rosemary, and garlic for Katie and additional black pepper for me. Not as good as yesterday and a bit hard to choke down.
second meal: hamburger soup – hamburger, beef bone broth, a bit of marrow, carrot, cauliflower, turnip, bay, rosemary, sea salt for both (got a bit of marrow and had to run to the kitchen to spit it out; thank goodness Katie likes it)
snack: apple (Katie had flesh; I had skin)
snack: peeled and seeded cucumber in olive oil with Celtic seal salt for Katie; spoon of almond butter and glass of milk for me
third meal: more hamburger soup for Katie sans all veggies but carrot except for what I snuck in the bites while she wasn’t paying attention; a bit more almond butter for me
snack (after Katie bedtime): frozen blueberries with raw pastured sour cream, about 1/2 t of honey, and cinnamon – DIVINE! The sour cream froze, and it reminded me of sour cream coffee cake or a muffin. Very unexpected and a welcome treat.
dinner: two fried eggs, Cholula [cheat: xanthan gum], sauerkraut (It was no pizza but it was nourishing and I could stomach it.)