Well, today ended up being a cheat day. Hubby and I really needed to spend a bit of time just the two of us, so Katie spent a couple of hours with her grandparents. We walked one of our favorite downtown locales and stopped at Whole Paycheck – oops, I mean Whole Foods – to pick up a few things. I was pretty ravenous by the time we reached our destination and battling the happy food emotions that always accompany our outings. Grabbing a coffee or chai tea and food has been central to our outings for nine years. No way we’re going to be able to drop the routine cold turkey. We’ve got some work to do. I think I’ll work through my food issues and associations in another post. It’s turning out to be a doozy of an issue.
We ended up at a local favorite sandwich shop of mine, Cosi for those who know it. I went in fully expecting to use this as a learning experience. How do I feel eating it? Is it necessary for a good time with my hubby? Does it taste as good as my memory remembers? How do I feel after? Was it worth it? I learn lessons best by the act of doing. Also, my psychology background leads me to process issues in a way that works for me and allows me to make new associations that will lead to permanent changes. Blah blah blah. So I got my favorite sandwich and A COOKIE and was super excited. The little kid in my was grinning like it was Christmas morning. Light of mood. Buoyed. I took my first bite. Eh. It was ok. Half way through my nose was running from the honey mustard. Huh? That’s new. It seemed super spicy, even though I’m fine with things like raw garlic, fresh ground black peper, and hot chili sauce. The turkey, sauce, brie, and bread (fresh baked flatbread) began the ‘brick’ phase of digestion even before I finished the sandwich. I almost didn’t finish it. I swear I can still feel it sitting like a rock six hours later, though it luckily didn’t cause any digestive issues. I then proceeded to the chocolate chunk cookie. The dough tasted heavenly when I first touched my tongue to it. I should have just licked it and stayed happy. After the first two bites I didn’t feel the need for it anymore though I had to finish it. As a sugar addict, you don’t throw out sugar especially when you are denying yourself of it and only have this one chance.